My friend Timmy was once bitten by a rattlesnake, and if I knew the difference between antidote and anecdote he'd still be alive today.
or
A woman gets onto a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!”
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says, “There’s no call for that. You go right up there and tell him off. Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
Both from here..
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